転勤ママことりの仙台ナビ

2歳男児の子育て奮闘中。ママ目線で楽しむ仙台ガイドブック

最近ついつい言ってしまうNGワード「早くしなさい!」

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2歳の息子はイヤイヤ期が始まり、ちょっとしたことでも気に入らないことがあると泣きわめく日もあります。初めのうちはどうしたらいいのか分からずワタワタしていましたが(特に外出先では最悪!)、最近はそれも自我が芽生えてきた証かな〜なんて受け流せるようになってきました。個人的には、0歳や1歳の前半時代を思えば日々の子育てが楽しくなってきたな。特に0歳時代はとにかくよく泣く子だったので、一日のほとんどの時間抱っこしていて、子育てというか授乳と抱っこして過ごしたという記憶しかないです。正直、今の方が何倍も可愛い♡コミュニケーションが取れるようになってきたのも一緒にいて楽しいし。

そんな人一倍可愛い時期の息子くんなんですが、色々出来る事が増えてきたりコミュニケーションが取れるようになってきて、「○○くんはちゃんとできるはず!」って期待しちゃったりするからでしょうか?ダメだと思いながらもついつい息子に言ってしまうNGワードがあります。

早くしなさい!

出かける時にかぎって、靴下を脱いで行きたくないアピール。お風呂から出る時に、裸で座り込んでまだ出ないアピール。公園から帰る時にまだ帰りたくないとうずくまる。。

そんなとき、つい「早くしなさい!」と言ってしまいます。でも、「早くしなさい!」って言っても何も変わらないんですよね。息子の場合、よけいに頑固になってもっと悪い方向に。でも、ママとしてはお風呂から出る時はパパッと着替えやドライヤーをしないと風邪引いちゃう!ってイライラしちゃうし、公園から帰る時間は眠くなる時間を考慮しての事だし。。

うーん、ママの気持ちも分かってほしい〜、、、

最近「子どもを伸ばす「いいね!」の言葉 「ダメ!」な言葉」という本を読みました。「早くしなさい!」は当然NGワード。本の著者の河村都さんによると、「早く」というのは親の勝手な都合ではないか?ということです。大人が効率よく進めたい順序を、素早く理解できる子どもはいない。それよりも、子どもが「なぜ早くやろうとしないか」に目をむけてみることが大切なんだとか。

ちょっとひと呼吸して、子どもの立場にたってみると、イライラがスーッと消えることも多いもの。本当に急いで困った時は、「早くしなさい!」と叱り口調でせかすより、きちんと理由を説明する方が納得しやすい。「ママは○○に行かないと行けないから、早くやってくれると助かるな」と丁寧に説明してみるのが効果的なんだとか。

私は「親の都合で考えるのをやめてみましょう」という言葉が響きました。考えてみれば日々の生活の中で親の都合で動いていることが多いんです。例えば、児童館に行くこと。行くことを決めたのは私なんですよね。「児童館の11時からのイベントに間に合わないから早くいかないとー!」って急がされても、本人は「今遊んでいるブロックをもっとやりたいのに何で??!」って感じなのかな。

「親の都合で考えない!」

私の2018年のメインテーマになりそうです。

「子どもを伸ばす「いいね!」の言葉 「ダメ!」な言葉」はありがちなNGワードとその追い出しのヒント(考え方やそれに替わる言葉など)が見やすく書かれているので読みやすく、頭に入ってきやすい本なので忙しいママに優しい構成になっています。日常生活でついつい言っちゃうNGワードが満載です。手元に置いておきたい一冊です。


子どもを伸ばす「いいね!」の言葉 「ダメ!」な言葉

我が家は自宅保育をしているので毎日息子と朝から晩まで一緒にいます。日々様々なコトを見て、触れて、覚えている息子を見ていると、ママの接し方、言葉の使い方が子どもに大きく影響するんだろうなと思います。それって、とても怖い。ママも人間だから感情的になってしまう事もあるし、体調が悪い日もある。でもそんな事は子どもは分からないから、見たもの、感じたものを吸収していってしまうんだろう。

全く自信がない。というのが本音。でも、子どもの成長は待ってくれないので、本を読んだり、子育て講座に参加したりして自分なりに子育てについて勉強しています。

仙台では色々な子育て講座をやっている団体や個人の方がいるので、来年はそういう講座にも積極的に参加したいなと思っています。講座についての情報や実際に参加してみた様子や感想などもUPしていきたいです。

今年の春からこの「転勤ママことりの仙台ナビ」を始めて仙台のコト、子育てのコトを中心にブログを書いてきました。子育てをしながら忙しい中、このブログを覗いてくださった皆さん、本当にありがとうございました。来年はもっと記事の内容を充実させて行きたいと思いますのでお時間のある時に覗いていただけると嬉しいです。

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